Well, hello! who walks there?
Who saunters with such arrogance?
Oh, my, my! it's you, of course.
Who else, but you proud little humans?
I should've known it to be you
When I heard your feet pounding the earth.
Intoxicated with the idea of yourself,
Smirking away in audacious mirth.
You wander around so sure of yourself,
Wallowing in the muck of your ego.
Breeding an attitude to sour the freshest milk,
With a heart darker than the vilest crow.
You bargain over the cheapest indecencies,
And squabble for some petty distraction.
Quarrel over trifles unnecessary,
Unaware of losing both reason and passion.
Indeed, I have nothing but contempt for you,
You cultivate idiocy in such abundance.
You strut around blindfolded with mirages,
And disgust me with your delusions.
Have you any idea how shrivelled you are?
How absolute my hold on you?
How powerless you are against me,
How helpless, how subdued?
I can trample to dust your desires,
Smother your ambitions of glory.
Raze your legacies and your monuments,
Leave you howling in misery.
I can erase you into obscurity,
Blossom your fancies into ruins.
Unshackle your fears and lend them wings,
Blanket your fantasies with screams.
I'd love to indulge myself so,
And have your hopes into the shadows chased.
Purge the air of your lustful sighs,
Cleanse this land of your stains.
But laying waste to each other so admirably,
You seem to do quite well on your own.
Crushing any who cross your path
As you scramble for the flimsy throne.
Yes, I'd rather stand by and let you do the honours,
Simply help keep your horrors fed.
For don't you agree it's a better spectacle
To watch you slowly wither away instead?
-----
Didn't want to write anything, mood nahi tha. Wrote this because I had nothing else to read for a competition(which I didn't win). So if it seems repetitive and forced, forgive me.
Who saunters with such arrogance?
Oh, my, my! it's you, of course.
Who else, but you proud little humans?
I should've known it to be you
When I heard your feet pounding the earth.
Intoxicated with the idea of yourself,
Smirking away in audacious mirth.
You wander around so sure of yourself,
Wallowing in the muck of your ego.
Breeding an attitude to sour the freshest milk,
With a heart darker than the vilest crow.
You bargain over the cheapest indecencies,
And squabble for some petty distraction.
Quarrel over trifles unnecessary,
Unaware of losing both reason and passion.
Indeed, I have nothing but contempt for you,
You cultivate idiocy in such abundance.
You strut around blindfolded with mirages,
And disgust me with your delusions.
Have you any idea how shrivelled you are?
How absolute my hold on you?
How powerless you are against me,
How helpless, how subdued?
I can trample to dust your desires,
Smother your ambitions of glory.
Raze your legacies and your monuments,
Leave you howling in misery.
I can erase you into obscurity,
Blossom your fancies into ruins.
Unshackle your fears and lend them wings,
Blanket your fantasies with screams.
I'd love to indulge myself so,
And have your hopes into the shadows chased.
Purge the air of your lustful sighs,
Cleanse this land of your stains.
But laying waste to each other so admirably,
You seem to do quite well on your own.
Crushing any who cross your path
As you scramble for the flimsy throne.
Yes, I'd rather stand by and let you do the honours,
Simply help keep your horrors fed.
For don't you agree it's a better spectacle
To watch you slowly wither away instead?
-----
Didn't want to write anything, mood nahi tha. Wrote this because I had nothing else to read for a competition(which I didn't win). So if it seems repetitive and forced, forgive me.
6 comments:
First verse mein aisa laga ke tere standards ke hisaab se tune bas zabardasti likha kuch suja nahi starting verse ke liye toh. Over all, it's well written.
It's great. Although, I agree with Pratiksha. The first verse did sound like what she said but as you read on, you realize that it makes sense. The hatred spewed later on, is going perfectly with the first verse. It doesn't sound like zabardasti ka, as you think it would. Good job, again!
Sometimes after reading something you take a moment or two for it to sink in and appreciate how beautifully it is written. It makes you think,question your morality and ponder on everything you've done. That's exactly what I did.
Overall it was actually pretty good. Far better than the ones i mentioned before as not upto your level.And I think being able to give a great ending inspite the lack of inspiration reaffirms my belief that you have an exceptional gift for endings. Like they say " the tail gotta have a sting in it !" Definite 3.4/5 , overall.
Well you've done the disdainful, contemptuous voice perfectly! I like the theme of the poem, your words and the idea that our actions are slow poison compared to death as one final act. As you know I'm not a big fan of long poems and that makes it a little repetitive for me but thats the only thing I can fault. Overall, it's a great piece!
Saad. ^_^ I know what you mean by feeling that it was forced. As a writer myself, I know that irritation I feel with my poems when I force myself to write it. But later, when I come back to it, I realise it's much better than I thought it was! This is one of those moments for you. You think it's not very good. Okay. Leave it alone for a while and get back to it with a clear mind. Read it. You'll realise how good it is. It is truly spectacular. There are things I would change. Rythms- corrections. But the overall essence of it is marvellous.I agree with a previous comment of it making you think. It does. So wait a while and come back to perfect it. It's wonderful.And I think when you come back to it, you'll see it too. I speak from experience here. So try it out.
-Love, Frank :3
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