Seas trembled and writhed in dismay,
The flames shed a single tear.
Rock withered and sky staggered,
The murk dissolved, stale but clear.
Splotches of red stained the whispering snow,
A frown creased the brittle heat.
Clouds burst forth in a reckless rage,
Pooling round the tempest's feet.
The errant mob behaved itself,
Rivers stiffened and ceased their flow.
The dead heaved an expectant sigh,
Machines skidded to a halt, wiping their brow.
The world slowed down, panting,
Time itself caught its breath.
Chaos went numb and silent,
Lamenting the poet's death.
The flames shed a single tear.
Rock withered and sky staggered,
The murk dissolved, stale but clear.
Splotches of red stained the whispering snow,
A frown creased the brittle heat.
Clouds burst forth in a reckless rage,
Pooling round the tempest's feet.
The errant mob behaved itself,
Rivers stiffened and ceased their flow.
The dead heaved an expectant sigh,
Machines skidded to a halt, wiping their brow.
The world slowed down, panting,
Time itself caught its breath.
Chaos went numb and silent,
Lamenting the poet's death.
6 comments:
Great one ! Looks like my friend is back on track! Very well ended , conclusive yet managing to leave that lingering aftertaste ( a very good one at that ). Your greatest strength most probably . ( I don't seem to get tired of pointing that . I hope you don't either , listening to it .)
It's good. The rhythm is very good. Very good use of imagery. And the idea behind the poem is the best. I think this is my favourite poem by you for now. Perfect blend of imagery and melancholy and conflicting ideas.
Its realllyyyyy good. I hope you keep writing such pieces of art dat indicate ur skill in imagining things nd most importantly penning thm down....keep it up and surely one day u wud bcum a great writer....nd seriously. ....d world needs sum really good ones to keep up d tradition of writing. ..
I think that this poem should still have 1 or 2 paras more, kind of a poet's account of his own death or his reaction to the events in first person ! Again, a wonderful piece with a very novel idea. Keep churning out more such gems, keep breaking away from the norm and do NOT follow the oft-tread path !
It is good. I like it. Very creative. In fact, it is beautiful, how you described everything. It is an original. So A+ for that! I like all your writings, so its obvious that I like this one, too.
Saad... you write beautifully!!!! Speechless!
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